I have been trying to sleep and it has been evading me, so what else is there to do? Blog, of course.
I can't believe I can't sleep, I am so darn tired. Maybe too tired. I think I may even resort to an Advil PM for some aide. My doctor had prescribed some Ambien CR when my back blew our, but with all the stories in the news, I am afraid to take it. Who knows what moronic things I may end up doing in my sleep!..... I do enough moronic things when I am awake.
I have a lot of things going through my head that are troubling me, maybe that is what is making me so tired and unable to sleep. I wish I could write about all of them here, but I can't. I have to censor myself here. They always say to be careful what goes on your blog, because your employers may find out the truth about you!!! I guess that same philosophy goes for employees!
I am having a hard time being a Weight Watcher. I don't think I am really "off the wagon" but I am having "stick to it" issues. It is not the program itself I have issues with. It is a great program and I am a huge (no pun intended) fan of it. The issue I am wrestling with is my disdain over the fact that I have a food illness. When I eat the foods I like and want, I get fat. I want to be able to eat whatever I want and not get fat. I want to eat whatever I want and not have to worry about getting fat affecting my back. I want to eat whatever I want and not have to worry about the fatness increasing my blood pressure. I am craving things I haven't allowed myself to have in a very, very long time. ONION RINGS...RIBS...FRIED CHICKEN...MAC n CHEESE...HOT FUDGE SUNDAE...CHEESEBURGER ON A REAL BUN...FRIES.
Yes, I can have them, in an appropriate portion and account for it with my points allocation, but I want a bigger portion and not have to think about it or the after-effects. oy
I am also wrestling with myself over a wedding this summer. I know it is a long way off, but it is out of town and I have to think of making arrangements soon. I really want to go. It is going to be in San Fran and it will be a beautiful event. I will get to see my friends again and that is the best part. Being asked to share in the event is very special. I will also get to spend some time with my cousins that live in the Bay area. The problem I am having is the expense involved. The wedding is at the Fairmont hotel. I am looking at $200+ a night times at least 2 nights. Plus the airfare, ground transportation, dress (and acoutrements) and gift. I am looking at over $1000 dollars for what will be a few days. OY. I also have another wedding in Sept., also out of town. I can drive to that one, but there is still hotel, dress (although I plan on wearing the same dress as the other wedding), gas, wedding gift and shower gift. This is going to be close to $400. OY, OY.
In a couple of weeks, is the anniversary of my fire. I am kinda freaking out about that one, too. I don't want to be here on that night. I know that nothing will happen again, but I still have a fear about being here that night. I have a certificate for a night at a hotel and I may use it that night. That is the same week last year that I found out I was losing my job with Pfaltzgraff. It was a wonderful week.
Wasn't this a pleasant blog entry to read? Thanks for letting me vent.
Until next time...goodnight!
1 comment:
I've been thinking about that lately too, the week we found out Pfaltzgraff was closing...that will be a hard week. I do hope everything goes fine on the anniversary of the fire though.
As for wanting to blog about things you can't and employees reading it, I realize it may not be appropriate, but if you need to talk about it, I am here... and I may actually understand as I'm in the same enviroment for at least 32ish hours a week myself...
Ok, just wanted to put that out there. See ya tomorrow.
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